@kellyoxford: Web MD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the ending is always cancer.
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@BeagirlNJ: I'm "I lost my car in a parking lot" years old *clicks alarm, clicks alarm* *silence* Am I even in the right parking lot?
@oakhillbargrill: Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet
@LurkAtHomeMom: I just saved a bundle on future college tuition by finding out my 4 year old wants to be a gum ball when he grows up.
@bobvulfov: me at 18: im gonna move to new york and go on so many dates me at 26: if i put my phone in a ziploc bag i can go on twitter in the shower