@kellyoxford: Web MD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the ending is always cancer.
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@kevinrowe1: My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining.
@DannyZuker: Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named "Steven!"
@lisaxy424: Anyone: I'm cold Me: Get a sweatshirt or something I'm not your mother Dog: *shivers once* Me: I WILL USE MY BODY HEAT TO KEEP YOU ALIVE