@kellyoxford: Web MD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the ending is always cancer.
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@caseytduncan: I hate when friends send me home with leftovers in plastic containers. "Here, you throw this food away and then clean the containers."
@TheBeerGuy73: Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming? ROFLMFAO! JK! Lolz Ttyl KK Ur BFF, Hannibal ~ Hannibal Lecter discovers text messages
@HrBry: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching my license plate before I ran down all the people I hate