@mynameshank: WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
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@joefrog1: If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
@david8hughes: [wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."
@faizziy: Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products..