@mynameshank: WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@5hael: Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there's really no set in stone rules here.
@MartaEffing: *sees person I know in a crowd* *waves enthusiastically* * realizes I don't know person* * changes enthusiastic wave to awkward fist pump*
@Spaziotwat: Survivor 1: "Help! I can't swim! I'm drowning!" Survivor 2: "I have a buoy, friend."
@ThingsJackDigs: Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby.