@SherBoBer: WebMD has a mobile app now. An app!!! A quick, easy and convenient way to diagnose yourself with cancer anywhere!
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@CoolCamel69: [picking out a washing machine] how many watermelons can this hold? "uhh I dunno, 11?" only 11? *keeps walking to next one* how many waterme
@Elizasoul80: [At auto store] Employee: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires? "Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."