@ChipKellysBalls: WebMD is a Choose Your Own Adventure book where every single story ends in malignant cancer
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@soccerskiingmom: If any Americans still feel like emigrating to Canada, can you please bring up some Thanksgiving leftovers?
@lasergirl70: Me to waiter: "I'm eating for 2." Waiter: "Oh, you're pregnant?" Me: "No, my sister was supposed to meet me here, but she can't make it."
@jaggedape: Bear mace is like regular mace but you have to buy it at the maul... Thank you for your time.