@robdelaney: .@WebMD Should blood basically be cascading out of my nose when I look at the sun ?
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@LindaInDisguise: You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? Cuz u JUST CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE? Cop: I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE STARTED FIGHTIN FOOOR For speeding.
@Kalarlis: what would Netflix even do if i sent them back a DVD of me doing karate they'd have no choice but to add it to their collection i suppose
@hippieswordfish: ME: hah, no way. well, maybe sometimes- or i guess...yes? i don't know, what was the question again INTERVIEWER: are you indecisive