@mugkip: WebMD would be more accurate if every search result diagnosed you as a hypochondriac.
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@kiel_phillips: INTERVIEWER: I'm sorry, I don't think you're really suited for the role of librarian BRIAN BLESSED: WHY NOT?
@nolifecoach: If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
@IamEnidColeslaw: today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING
@XplodingUnicorn: I had abstinence-only sex education when I was in high school. It was called Dungeons and Dragons.