@WheelTod: We'd been married for 5yrs before we heard the patter of tiny feet. In time even the kids learned to live with the massive rat infestation
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@fro_vo: Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four? Me: i have no idea what he's for
@darinlovesbacon: My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like "Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."