@TokerQuoter: Weed is not a drug, its a plant. Therefore, I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist.
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@heatherlou_: I tell my child, "10 minutes till bed!" She hears me say, "Go put on a Halloween costume." Why?
@TheAlexNevil: *me, at high school prom Me: So, you wanna dance? Her: Definitely! M: Can you tell me why?
@Maxine12333: Woke at 2 AM to a strange male voice telling me to accept god. Storm knocked out power at 7 and I forgot to turn off TV - thought I'd died.