@AsgardianRose: Weird how first we have to pretend to be asleep in order to fall asleep.
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@imence2: Some people have no respect. It's obvious I'm on my phone trying to do something & this guys all "STEP OUT OF THE CAR WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
@TheRolo: [At a San Francisco Dance Club] *Grinds cute girl in a mini-skirt* Hey baby, what's your name? "Robert"
@SondraDeeMe: [mattress store interview] "What would you bring to this job?" A blanket, some cheetos, wrinkle cream, probably a television.