@chrizmillr: Weird how Superman's an alien but looks exactly like a white dude & then he landed in Kansas & not say, mainland China
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@ValeeGrrl: You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out "I hate you" in morse code w my knife.
@stephenjmolloy: [Job interview] "Can you explain this gap in your résumé?" Me: "I fell asleep on the space key."