@Dawn_M_: Weird, started flirting in this bar and for some reason 4 guys just killed themselves.
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@kelkulus: Apple will start making Macs in America. In related news, Macs will now cost 3 billion dollars. #SOTU
@iGreenMonk: I told the bank teller that I was changing banks & wanted to open an account "Great. What's the name of your former bank?" I said, "Piggy"
@KellyMeldrum: I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle.