@jwoodham: Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?
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@OneFunnyMummy: Dance like no one's watching & cook like someone else is cleaning up that shit.
@HiddenPinky: "If you were a spy and having drinks at a spy bar, what would you want?" "I could tell you, bud, I'd have tequila."
@KizerBillhelm: Satan: you can spend eternity in hell OR you can go to work for the first time in 5 days. Me: hmmm Satan: well? Me: IM THINKING, DAMN IT
@TheAlexP: I'll put a comma, after a comma, even if it doesn't need a comma, to completely, drive you, insane.