@jwoodham: Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?
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@ShoutingGoddess: One day we'll open Twitter & it'll just say: Thanks for playing! Hope you enjoyed this social experiment. Now apologise to your loved ones.
@capnmcfword: If you can tell from my eye contact at the grocery store that I'm inviting you to race shopping carts, you're my kinda people.