@daemonic3: Welcome to Condescending Club. Even an idiot would know the 1st rule. If not, you want paaaatronizing club. You know what that is, riiiight?
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@PaperWash: me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived
@TheDreamGhoul: The 9th rule of fight club is no roller skates. honestly guys I don't know why we keep having to say this.
@lwhit_the_boss: My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he's actually a bag of Cheetos
@tarashoe: haha remember when you were a kid you'd hide inside the clothes racks at stores. can't do that as an adult. someone's stupid kid is in there