@WigCannon: welcome to denny's. don't eat that brown stuff. that's tables
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@PineapplePtart: Be careful, newbies. Twitter changes you. I used to be Puerto Rican, now I'm Irish.
@WilliamAder: I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!
@NicestHippo: Two ads? IN A ROW? On this website that gives me access to all the music ever made? I won't stand for it
@NickSchug: Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper "Ew, ew, ew, ew." while doing it.