@JermHimselfish: Welcome to Earth, where we hate each other and put ketchup on everything.
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@GuyConfused: Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me.
@TheWeirdWorld: The headline “WORLD’S OLDEST PERSON DIES” could also be “WORLD HAS NEW OLDEST PERSON”.
@bourgeoisalien: People don't realize that Ikea catalogs are also a book of baby names. Anyway, I'm late to take FLÄRDFULL and ÖDMJUK on their play date.