@freypalm: “Welcome to Fight Club,” said the man with the rock hard abs. I looked around, clutching my kite, becoming worried.
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@LeBearGirdle: Lawyer: so tell me, why was my client's mouth bleeding? Dentist: he doesn't floss Me: You hit me! D: [puts lips on mic] bc you don't floss
@Swishergirl24: No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss.
@timdonakowski: Starting a new job today. I’m not sure what company, but it’s wherever this lady with the giant box of donuts is going.
@vineyille: Day 20. Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy Leg Man.