@sploosk: Welcome to Insults Я Us, you sack of crap. Buy some stuff if you're not too cheap. Maybe eat out of a garbage can. You'd probably like that
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@_Ms_Moneypenny_: Some guy called me a siren. It's like he doesn't even care that I do beeping noises & I can purr & moan & do like all the other sounds, too.
@TedBundybitch: When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying
@TheMichaelRock: Neighbor: Awww! She's adorable! What is she? Me: A dog. Duh. Neighbor...
@ThRealBallsDeep: Me:Siri, why don't I have any friends? Siri:*shows me my Google search history* M:Good call.
@Lowenaffchen: Hey girl.. you ready to [loudly toward the door] TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL *roommate sends in R/C truck with a bunch of condoms taped to it*
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