@KyleMcDowell86: Welcome to Lion Tamer School. Everyone grab a chair. Good... good. You're all halfway to becoming Lion Tamers now.
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@delusions_of: If attacked by a bear play dead. If that doesn't work play "Tiny Dancer". Bears love that song.
@FlyJ_: I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap.
@SamDelanche: My boss just asked if I'm illiterate, which is offensive because I know exactly who my father is.