@lecalabara: Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
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@OfficeofSteve: when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..
@iinkedZombie: Me: You have to be nice or Santa won't deliver any toys this year. 5: Me: 5: My brother lets me play with his.
@Dawn_M_: My doctor said the claw marks on my face are not from a poltergeist but I should stop trying to put roller skates on cats.
@pharmasean: Good thing most planes have TVs. Nothings worse than having to look out the window at Earths sacred majesty from the point of view of angels