@batkaren: Welcome to Super Villain University. Please refer to the enclosed packet for a sample course offering:
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@MaryKoCo: If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it
@iwearaonesie: *pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we - stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos?
@Parkerlawyer: Husband, “Aaaaannnd that completes my order.” Tombstone Engraver, “Are you sure you want it spelled like this....Belovud wyfe, freind, and muther?” Husband, “She can’t correct me now.”
@AimeeHelene1: CW: What's for lunch; smells good! Me: Well I made lasagna last night but lost a fingernail in it & haven't found it yet. CW: Me: *smirks*