@PajamaStew: "Welcome to the future. Let me show you around. Here's the bathroom. This is a robot that we invented that screams at your wet hands."
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@sixfootcandy: (Breaks car window to save a dog) Guy: I'm in the car! Me: Yeah but it's hot Him: The AC is on! Me: Can I get in? It's really hot out here.
@SoVeryBritish: Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says "I'm going to have to cancel tonight"
@ABurgerADay: [Casting Meeting] Director: Did we get Cruise? Producer: Tom said he'll do it if we get Willis. Me: So we're Cruise in for a Bruce in?