@audipenny: Welcome to The News. Tonight's top story: you know that thing you love? It's terrible and you're terrible. Thanks,
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@SteveSuckington: [job interview] "What's your.." *interrupts* -My greatest strength is my work ethic "Well played. Welcome to the psychic friends network"
@Donna_McCoy: I turn my phone off overnight. A 3am text either means bad news or drunk people, and both make more sense in the morning.