@goolicker: Welcome to twitter, where nobody uses their right to remain silent.
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@ClichedOut: [camping] Friend: You gonna put that tent up yourself? Me: No, you sicko, under that tree.
@Parentpains: Good thing some people show their bare chest in their profile pic, otherwise we wouldn't have known they had a torso.
@GerryMcBride: Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job.