@goolicker: Welcome to twitter, where nobody uses their right to remain silent.
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@BangMyBongo: Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children
@heytherejeffro: Pretty sure the "FINISH HIM" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date.
@dafloydsta: [on a first date] Me: So do you like puppies? Her: Oh I love them Me: Ok, so we'll both have the puppies Waiter: Excellent choice, sir
@QwertyJones3: TIME TRAVELER: I'm here from the future ME: Really? Who wins the election? TT: Omg it's such a disgrace ME: You need to be more specific