@atanenhaus: Welcome to woodworking club, please make a seat.
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@timdonakowski: If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in their recipe.
@Tharin_P: Brain: he must study-how? *Hormones raise hand* H: we could hit him with pimples, kill the social life? B: *whispers* It's for his own good.
@mrtruthandsoul: Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door? Me: Do you wanna watch? Nurse: *closes door*
@zachreinert03: If I see someone is too drunk I take their keys. Not for safety, they're probably blacked out and just won't remember I stole their car.