@snotnboogers23: Well, at least my kids are finding new and exciting ways to make my two college degrees meaningless.
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@batkaren: Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes.
@d_duhwit: *worm surgeon beside worm in hospital bed." Doc:" Surgery went good but the floor was slippery and long story short you have a son now."
@Hormonella: Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle.
@BillCorbett: Deranged Extremist 1: We'll drown 100 kittens. Deranged Extremist 2: We won't drown ANY kittens. Cool Centist: We'll drown 50 kittens.