@ruinedpicnic: "Well boy," I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, "naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."
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@Pro_Jones_: Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
@MomOfTeen: He approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me and I am breathless. With one firm and quick thrust, he dislodges my food.
@mexinonblonde: WOW! You do a dazzling imitation of a blithering idiot! Oh... You're being serious, about your love for your TC? Oh dear, this is awkward.
@bromanconsul: GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]