@ruinedpicnic: "Well boy," I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, "naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WGladstone: My upstairs landlord asked if screams were coming from my apt or if she was dreaming. Either way, one of us has a terrifying neighbor.
@GFGander: Sucks when good bands have dumb names. "What are you listening to?" "It's Made Out of Babies, they're really great." "..."
@careworn: Why do people insist on saying "You're next" to me at weddings? Do they not realize how serial killery that is?