@ruinedpicnic: "Well boy," I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, "naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."
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@Brentweets: Pizza Hut is going gluten free so while you are dying from a heart attack you can atleast not have gas problems
@MythicPicnic: Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans.
@sozjalltheway: So, It's not ok to write "always best to have a spare incase you break the first one" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy