@Adam_Kingsnorth: Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@underchilde: A jury of my peers would just be 12 people who hate that they had to get up before noon.
@Social_Mime: On the phone: Me - Do you have brown or beige gravy for Thanksgiving? Mom - Brown, why? Me - No reason. (Pulls out brown shirt for preemptive spills)
@drinksmcgee: I've decided that I'm just going to sit in my boxers and eat cereal all day. In unrelated news, my coworkers are all staring at me.
@Cheeseboy22: Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)