@Adam_Kingsnorth: Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
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@david8hughes: Interviewer: says here you're a sniper Me [opening gun case]: affirmative Interviewer: is that a Supersoaker with a Pringles can taped to it
@TheRolo: So I listened to some LL Cool J then kept licking my lips like he does. I found myself in HR. Good thing I wasn't listening to KISS.
@jakob_huber: "What's your name?" "I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo's riders-" *Starbucks barista quits on the spot*
@TheToddWilliams: [China] "You have to get good grades" KID: But it's so hard! "We're Can-tonese not Cant-tonese" KID: You gotta admit that's a bit confusing