@Adam_Kingsnorth: Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
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@ieatanddrink: For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
@Supafunkadunka: Women my age expect a man to have his shit together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
@chagger73: Going down on a woman is the best. The way her thighs cover your ears so you can finally get some quiet time...
@Marlebean: Him: Your body is like poetry Me: That's so nice! H: A haiku M:.. H: Little on the top, big in the middle, little on the bottom M: Just stop