@megalot_: Well, I don't know how my tattoo is gonna look when I'm 60, Carol, but I know you'll be dead by then so
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@chamashouse: When the police asked me where I was between 4 and 5, apparently "Kindergarten" wasn't the answer he was looking for.
@TheNardvark: Walmart stopped selling hoverboards due to safety concerns. In case you were curious about those empty shelves between the guns and the ammo
@mommywhitfield: *Toddler walks up, kisses my knee, turns away* "Aw! Aren't you sweet?" *Toddler kisses refrigerator, cabinet door and dishwasher* "Oh."