@PoorEvelyn: Well, if it doesn't include antidepressants, they shouldn't call it a Happy Meal.
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@ibid78: You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by.
@caliluvgirl77: coworker: did you hear someone used all the charity money to buy snacks from the vending machine me: *laughing nervously* that's awful
@DaddyJew: Judge: how do you plead? Guy: well usually to my wife Judge: haha I feel ya brother, bailiff please fist-bump the defendant
@iwearaonesie: trainer: Why are you here? everyone else: To get fit! me [with a mouthful of gummy bears] Mmfff