@PoorEvelyn: Well, if it doesn't include antidepressants, they shouldn't call it a Happy Meal.
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@Moronyc: A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer
@senorwinces: Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing.
@fillthevacuum: Got out of the car and dropped my keys in the gutter. They landed next to my mind, which I thought I'd lost.