@__MICHAELJ0RDAN: Well if you cant buy babys at Babys R Us what in the world do they sell?
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@AngelaEhh: Dear Milk of Magnesia manufacturers: Please add : 'Don't trust a fart' to your side effects label. kthanksbye
@shawn_spree: My son does this cute thing where he installs games on my phone and then for weeks I get notifications that my village is under attack.
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
@schmittsteve: [Turing Test] Tester: Let's start with an easy one, the square root of 29241? Subject: 171! Tester: Subject: I meant, idk math is hard. lol