@duplicitron: Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears.
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@nbadag: [me at 22] in a hurry, better run up this flight of stairs [me at 32] i threw out my back because the toaster startled me
@NotARatsAss: Make sure to stand in the middle of group photos. It will be harder to crop you out later.
@savvystrider: The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.