@cbdoubleu: Well, I've got to hand it to you.
-Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race.
@torrami: Tell her she's glowing and watch her do the mental math on when her last period was
@nbadag: DATE: so...this is your place?
ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes
@mjm866: My two year old just learned to say shut up. Coincidentally I just lost all guilt about clothes lining a toddler.
@imskytrash: screw you
@WittySassBasket: I HAVE A LITTLE MERMAID BAND-AID UNDER MY EYE CAUSE I'M IN A GANG NOW.