@cbdoubleu: Well, I've got to hand it to you.
-Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race.
@Jake_Vig: Dear rock bands,
If I am at your show, assume I am both ready and willing to rock. No need to ask.
@heroinsdemise: I always wonder how Men managed to find entire continents.
Mine can't even find the butter in the fridge.
@AndyAsAdjective: Does the employee manual say I CAN'T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.
@matt_simpson84: That scene from Jurassic Park where the T-Rex is breathing heavily up against the jeep glass, except its me at the hotdog display in 7/11
@Nickadoo: I'm less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring.