@cbdoubleu: Well, I've got to hand it to you.
-Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race.
@Alexclaimer: *walks up to IKEA return counter
*rips receipt into tiny pieces
*tells the clerk to put it together himself
@That_Damn_Duck: One last time...
It’s ‘a lot’ not ‘alot'!
It’s that simple.
Tomorrow we’ll cover thermonuclear fusion & the works of Voltaire.
@SamGrittner: If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead what Arby's would you go to?
@hippieswordfish: [party in 1939]
teen: truth or dare
teen: dare you to invade poland
hitler: omg no way u guys
all the teens: DO IT DO IT
@SteveAmiri: July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them.