@cbdoubleu: Well, I've got to hand it to you.
-Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race.
@vodkachrome: I'm not even sure I remember how to have sex without holding my phone.
@wickedsuga: This kid in target fell on the ground screaming bc his mom wouldn't buy him candy
& now she's yelling for us both to get up and be quiet.
@bea_ker: Police dogs are fine but we need a few crime dogs to even things up
@trevso_electric: turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :(
@AshFrieds: There should be a horror movie where an item associated with childhood innocence is unexpectedly evil