@jackiembouvier: Well, Jesus, now all Samsung's competitors have to say is "we won't blow up in your pocket and set you ablaze!"
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@trims_the_fat: I put winks at the end of texts to add a confusing air of creepy. "Making breakfast. ;)" "Walking the dog. ;)" "Broke in to your house ;)"
@girlontapas: One of my personalities goes to the grocery store and buys healthy food... Now, I can't find anything to eat in the fridge.
@GrillinChillin9: The brake is on the left, the gas peddle is on the right, & the liquor store is 4 miles ahead. -Me teaching my 3yr old niece how to drive