@jackiembouvier: Well, Jesus, now all Samsung's competitors have to say is "we won't blow up in your pocket and set you ablaze!"
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@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.
@AndyAsAdjective: My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life.
@Just__J0: A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone.