@LoveNLunchmeat: Well kids, when a man and woman love each other very much, he erects a monument for her, but in his pants.
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@iwearaonesie: [hotel] wife: I'm gonna go change. Find us a movie, ok? *winks* me: Ok! *wife comes out in lingerie* wife: What'd you pick? me: Space Jam
@iQuoteComedy: If you watch the Harlem Shake backwards, it's a video about a guy who parties longer than everyone else.
@calluptome: The next time there's an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
@Kalarlis: what would Netflix even do if i sent them back a DVD of me doing karate they'd have no choice but to add it to their collection i suppose