@LoveNLunchmeat: Well kids, when a man and woman love each other very much, he erects a monument for her, but in his pants.
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@SocialustGal13: My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing.
@MrMildSauce: Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you've done with the place.
@bestlizard: A girl who bullied me in junior high just friended me on Facebook. Her three kids are named after trees. I win.
@OnlyFastEddie: The closest I've ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station.