@realHamOnWry: Well, Lester Holt definitely lost that debate.
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@KindOfASmartass: Me: My daughters are 15, 13, and 10. Her: Do you want more kids? Me: Hahahahahahahaha Her: Is that a no? Me: *Deep breathe* Hahahahahaha
@Brampersandon_: [hospital] *crying* Jim it's your turn to change the baby *picks up baby* -Ok brb *comes back holding a black baby* -I think they're onto us
@Cheeseboy22: I put two pairs of cargo pants in my cargo pants pockets, just in case I need more cargo pants.
@KellyMeldrum: Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.