@jordan_stratton: Well, lookie there. Bring a cheesecake to a gunfight and suddenly EVERYBODY wishes you'd brought a knife.
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@KyleMcDowell86: *I reach for the thermostat* *my dad runs in barking* *neighbor's dad starts barking* *within seconds all the neighborhood dads are barking*
@ThinkingSavage: Loan officer: And what is the purpose of your loan, Sir? Me: Whole Foods. I shop at Whole Foods.
@Maxine12333: The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.