@NoChillPosts: WELL PLAYED, SIR
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@Brianhopecomedy: Bought an ice cream cake and the cashier told me to keep it in the freezer until serving as it will melt. I gotta start dressing smarter.
@Samzen_: Satan was all alone with Eve, NAKED, at the forbidden tree and all he did was to convince her to eat a fruit? GAY.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: On average, how often do you miss work? ME: *sweating profusely* NO ONE SAID THERE'D BE MATH