@fizzlestothetop: Well, seeing as Jesus only had 12 followers, I'd say I'm doing pretty well for myself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thewordy: boys love mysterious girls so don't be afraid to show up to dates with a shovel and a smear of fresh blood on your collar
@maxlavergne: your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice
@curlycomedy: The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission.
@DeadLioness: Could be worse. Someone could be trying to tell you that everything happens for a reason.