@spotswoj: Well, she was raised to refer to dinner as 'supper' so obviously it wasn't going to work out in the end.
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@flashember: [Worm sitting alone] WAITER: Dinner for 1? Dumb question W: But- *worm cuts self in half* *waiter shrieks* 2nd WORM: I'll have the prime rib
@rivetingbonmots: There is no "I" in the word "team," but I don't think that means anything about team work. That's just how it's spelled.
@JoeMande: "Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory." - NBA players to their interior designers
@DirtMcTurd: Just ate the last slice of pizza and I wish there was more. Suddenly all of Taylor Swifts songs make sense to me.