@davedittell: well, son, we named you after where you were conceived; that's why you're called The Frightening, Tyrannical Hellscape of Obama's America
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@abbycohenwl: "Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?" "Church?" "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers
@ScorpionDong: Everyone knows Robin but not a lot of people know Batman's other sidekicks: Stealin, Burglin, Thievin
@hyperblastchic: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. No YOU'VE been drinking.
@LackOfShame: The funniest thing about being sober is someday finding out that you were the mayor of Toronto.