@DaddyJew: Well thank you auto correct for changing "I wish you were here" to "I wish you were her". I didn't wanna have sex anyways.
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@NourHadidi: Overheard at work: "that is music to my ears". Where else would the music go smartypants?
@BlindVigil: Q: "How long were you at your last job?" A: "Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"
@randomnloveit: If people are going to judge me they should at least hold up scorecards so I know how I'm doing.