@DaddyJew: Well thank you auto correct for changing "I wish you were here" to "I wish you were her". I didn't wanna have sex anyways.
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@jbillinson: Biden: I think if we just leave a small- Obama: No Biden: Just a small Mouse Trap inspired- Obama: No booby traps, Joe
@IamEnidColeslaw: the women in tampon commercials should switch places with the women in antidepressant commercials
@katy_baybay: I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey.
@therealeatwood: CAPT. AMERICA: Merry Christmas, Hulk! Happy Hanukkah, The Thing! Er… what religion are you, Thor? THOR: Do you understand I’m an actual god