@JPHaddadio: Well, the mechanic called. Apparently, in addition to a muffler, my car also needs a new car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@zacharyflynn: Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad
@online_rat: one time a girl told me she listens to "anything but country" so i played pterodactyl noises on on full volume the whole way to Ruby Tuesday
@withanewname: "Doc, my boyfriend & I don't wanna get pregnant. He hates condoms & I think the jelly isn't working." "What kind are you using?" "Grape"
@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.