@UweBollocks: Well, this certainly took a turn
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@lil_dead_girl_: You don't realize how much you miss someone until they come back from the dead.
@SardonicTart: Someone at work just yelled "go team" so I reported her for creating a hostile work environment.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 1-year-old found a jar of Play-Doh. I figured she couldn't do any harm if she couldn't open it. She threw it at her sister's head.