@MikeMcNeil_: Well, well, well. If it isn't that thing I told my wife I already did.
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@JillBidenVeep: Joe: Just met with Secret Service Barack: Oh yea? Joe: I got them to agree to call Trump "David S. Pumpkins"
@Pirate_nurse: To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves
@onedavedeep: Once she realized I was chatting her up, the Kohl's girl immediately indicated the extent of her interest: "My dad wears shirts like that"