@TheBoydP: Well well well, if it isn't the guy who sprayed air freshener into my restroom stall...
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@TheHyyyype: [at the beach, about to get in the ocean] "but i don't want my stuff stolen" *covers it with towel* "ok now it's safe"
@__candypants: If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot.
@jergarl: My 7yo has a friend over and I'm pretty sure he learned how to whisper during a hurricane.