@Chel__CLE: Until a pregnancy test commercial involves a chick hysterically crying & screaming MY LIFE IS OVER, it's not real life.

@sofarrsogud: MOVIES: Ok, time for bed kiddo. *child kisses parents and goes to bed MY HOUSE: Time for bed. *mixed martial acrobatics is now a sport

@weinerdog4life: Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat.

@iLiveSilent: In Ancient Days, Newscasters Kept You Updated On The Latest News Happening Flat The World.

@brunopieroni: How to stop Facebook Live and Marketplace notifications: 1) Open Facebook app 2) Go to Settings 3) Throw your phone into a river