@lovemydogduck: Went for a 4 mile run this morning. Now everything hurts... even my eyelashes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bromanconsul: people are like "pokemon is basically dogfighting" but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence
@Brentweets: Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
@juneohara65: "Go ahead, caller. . ." "Yes, hello. My dog dug up a femur and I'd like to make soup. Would you suggest carrots or potatoes?"