@lovemydogduck: Went for a 4 mile run this morning. Now everything hurts... even my eyelashes.
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@xLiserx: My autocorrect just changed "I'm off" to "I'm DTF" and changed a casual conversation with my boss into an H.R meeting.
@iamspacegirl: Dog *just lookin at me* Me: go lay down Dog: ok. Cat *kneading her claws into my stomach* Me *wincing*: thank you Cat: damn right thank you
@robfee: Wow the weather sure is getting cool *A cloud rolls by wearing sunglasses and smoking an unfiltered cigarette*
@hello_saylor: My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: "I enjoy receiving a paycheck."