@man_spach: Went gluten-free and already lost 15 friends in the first week!
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@TheCatWhisprer: I used to watch the Olympics on TV as a child and dream of growing up and also watching the Olympics on TV but on a better TV.
@ComedicBust: "These diet pills better work," I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake.
@KingRainhead: Boy: do u have any fantasies Me: ok.. so.. the library of alexandria is under siege& Im a librarian whos good at fighting& I save the books