@man_spach: Went gluten-free and already lost 15 friends in the first week!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If a woman wears a ponytail holder on her wrist at all times that means she's always down to pull her hair back and fight you.
@JonnyGoodTimes: My girlfriend HATES it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend ( ._.)
@doktorj: "Vintage designer purses are not a retirement plan," says my accountant while rubbing his temples.