@shwebby3: Went off roading with my prius but ended up getting stuck on a bonsai tree in neighbor's front yard
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joejwest: ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I'm afraid of it ME: It's just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]
@huntigula: *finds all 7 dragonballs *dragon appears* "WHAT IS YOUR WIS...OH GODDAMMIT CHAD, FOR THE LAST TIME I CANNOT MAKE PEOPLE RESPECT NICKELBACK"
@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.
@mexinonblonde: I have recently learned that it is considered poor form to sit on Santa's lap and ask to be made a widow for Christmas... The more you know.