@Brianhopecomedy: Went on a trampoline with my 1 year old and learned that if you jump JUST right it unfortunately turns into a baby catapult.
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@SarahFemme: I hope at my funeral someone has the foresight to bring a Ouija board so I can live tweet Hell.
@UniqueDude2: ME: WOW! Bigfoot! BIGFOOT: Hey Smallfoot M: U call us Smallfoot? BF: U have small feet M: no, urs r big BF: mine r normal M: huh BF: see ya
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife asked me to get the house ready as her friend is sleeping here tonight so as an optimist our bed now has 3 pillows.
@NikiWithIssues: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, blocking the tv and getting him shot on Call of Duty.