@Brianhopecomedy: Went on a trampoline with my 1 year old and learned that if you jump JUST right it unfortunately turns into a baby catapult.
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@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.
@Smooheed: Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time
@TheWriteStuff2u: You said that if I went to visit at the hospital I should be sure to take flowers. So, when the nurse wasn't looking, I did.
@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, can you tell me a bedtime story? Me: Sure, once upon a time your mom & I used to get enough sleep. Then you came. The end.